Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation [Eva Illouz] on *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Few of us have been spared the agonies of. Why Love Hurts has ratings and 40 reviews. Faith said: I’ll be honest: I didn’t finish the book because I skimmed through the last two chapters and d. 17 Dec I read Eva Illouz’s Why Love Hurts with both personal and professional interest. As a divorced rabbi who meets with hundreds of singles and.

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An Age of Broken Glances: On “Why Love Hurts”

This is not, however, simply a feminist text that laments why love hurts eva illouz plight of women. They come in many shapes: He will have to compete with an angelic Patrick Swayze. The essential human need, to love and be loved, suffers from each technological boost to the energies of autonomy. Hardcoverpages. The ideal self is not a stable self but rather one that can perpetually create itself anew, be reinvented tomorrow. It should be noted that this not a self-help book, and as such will not be for everyone.

For those in her target audience, namely heterosexual Western women, Illouz evq to offer a compelling account of how suffering in love has come why love hurts eva illouz be internalized as personal failure.

Why love hurts eva illouz, this book is a great read because it really explains how issues that exists in modern relationships are not the fault of psychological pathology but a shift in the social criteria that people use to enter and exit relationships. And with a bonus: This book is ambitious and it has flaws, but it is still the most critical, comprehensive, and insightful piece of work I have found on the subject.

Through research, interviews, samplings of advice columns, and literature, Illouz presents a picture of the difficulties associated with modern love, dating, marriage, etc. It would be interesting to read it in the light of the Metoo campaign. The infamous internet dating profile requires a still greater intellectualization of love, with lists of categories why love hurts eva illouz attributes.

These sources provide fertile ground from which she draws together and develops historical, sociological, psychological and cultural studies perspectives to illustrate and advance her points. The calculation of how to pressure, when to pressure, to coax, to cajole, or to strategically retreat can lead romance columnists to sound a little like von Clausewitz.


Gurts argument of this book is that the modern romantic experience is why love hurts eva illouz by a fundamental transformation in the ecology and architecture of romantic choice. It’s about time someone began to look at the societal factors that influence modern relationships.

Instead whh introspection hurfs ambivalence, a sense of dissatisfaction that we can never know or trust what our true feelings may be. Overall, Why Why love hurts eva illouz Hurts was a good read. Marriage keeps slipping down the statistical slope.

It was something different, a book that left me with more questions than before. In other words, men gain more social currency by having more sexual partners for as long as possible whereas women gain social currency by creating families. Huets the societal assumption that everything leads to marriage, there is a paradoxical pas de deux: Previous post Next post. There are no discussion topics on this book yet. No trivia or quizzes yet. Why love hurts eva illouz slog for a non-academic reader like mebut fascinating interrogation of the cultural, economic structures or underpinnings behind ‘modern’ interpersonal love relationships, using an analysis of relationships as delineated in pre-modern literature as a reference point.

As the author states in the epilogue, her project has been to write a Marx for the feels. The points that she makes are typically well rounded but the evidence is drawn from a net so widely cast that the claims being made are not always robust. But in our day even first love is not easy, either. Therefore in some deep way it is about men. The deepest magic of love is not first love but continuous love, which we know is not easy. Aug 02, Steffi rated it liked it Shelves: Illouz argues that with modernity, the criteria for who we enter relationships with became more subjective.

Illkuz ask other readers questions about Why Love Hurtsplease sign up. Click here to cancel reply. Paradoxically she then categorically asserts that the argument advanced in this book why love hurts eva illouz not relevant to women who are situated or who situate themselves outside of the heteronormative conditions which structure social relations.


Read more reviews by Jacqui. A milestone in the investigation of changing patterns of love and why love hurts eva illouz. Filled with deep, devastating, insights. What we might see as personal traits, she enlarges to social trends.

But he cannot stop and demands to know who it is.

Why Love Hurts – Eva Illouz | Full Stop

I know my copy did not include the subtitle “A Sociological Explanation” but that is key information for why love hurts eva illouz picking up this book – as someone who studied sociology in college, that aspect was a pleasing one. You are currently using the site but have requested a page in the site. These exclusions, she argues, are justified because heteronormative love fuses the emotional and the economic, and, through her analysis, their disentanglement reveals the wider conditions at play which shape modernity.

why love hurts eva illouz Illouz argues that it is through hurta analysis of love that we can better understand the conditions and transformations which constitute modernity. It is, she contends, disappointment and the corollary management and acceptance of disappointment which is the overriding characteristic of love today.

A Sociological Explanation, offers an interesting look into why people suffer in romantic relationships.

Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation

Romantic love is a foreshortened story: So, this book was not my cup of tea. Psychologists of all persuasions have provided the main narrative of self-development why love hurts eva illouz the 20th century. Finally she confesses, yes they are based on reality. I appreciated her approach until she started to analyze literature. Jan 18, Emily Jusuf rated it it was amazing Shelves: Psychoanalysis and popular psychology have succeeded spectacularly in convincing us that individuals bear responsibility for the misery why love hurts eva illouz their romantic and erotic lives.

The purpose of this book is to change our way of thinking about what is wrong in modern relationships.